Archive for August, 2011

Curb Your Enthusiasm

Posted: August 31, 2011 by dontbeskerritt in MLB
Tags: , ,

Sit down and take a twitpic of this one ladies and gentlemen because this may be the last post about baseball until the World Series in October (thanks Madden!). For this one, I want to talk about one of the best rivalries in sport: Yankees vs Red Sox. These teams are playing in Boston for 3 games this week. The Yankees took the first game on Tuesday, closing within a half a game of the Sox in the competitive AL East. C.C. Sabathia ended his Red Sox curse with 10 strikeouts. Mariano Rivera actually got a save against the Boston club. And I bet you the baseball world couldn’t care less.

The reason no one cares is that both of these teams have been in the playoffs since July practically.  These two squads dominate the baseball world with their tremendous payrolls.  The rest of the AL East has no shot unless the stars align and Lil’ Wayne gets caught in public with women’s clothes pigs learn to fly.  The other AL teams know they have to win their division because it will be either Boston or New York as the wild-card team.  This makes a late August series between these two rivals meaningless; whoever loses the division will sashay Shante right into the wild-card spot.  Then they will play their only meaningful series in the playoffs.  Ask the 2004 Red Sox if being a wild-card is a problem if you are trying to make the World Series.

The problem is that there isn’t much of a difference being a wild-card and winning a division.  At least in football, you are penalized The solution for this problem has actually been found out by MLB shockingly.  Just add one more wild-card team and have a do-or-die playoff game to determine who is the true wild-card team.  Then have the playoffs continue has it has been for the past two decades.  This would mean that the Yankees would play the Tampa Bay Rays.   The Yankees are 6-5 against the Rays (and 3-10 vs Red Sox as of this piece).  You think the Yankees would want to play that game?  But I know I would want to watch it.  What a way to drive up fan interest, especially in the middle of football season, with a single elimination playoff game.  What a way to keep fan interest in the regular season, when late August divisional games are not rendered meaningless.  Seems like an easy fix for baseball, right?

Well, its baseball.  They were slow to get the wild-card.  They were slow to catch steroids.  They made the All-Star game mean something because they are slow.  Now there is talk of realignment and expanding the playoffs.  But there is resistance to it from of course, baseball.  Will baseball ever get it?  They have been surpassed and stomped by the NFL.  Random NFL regular season draw the same amount of viewers as the World Series!!!  That should never, ever, happen in life.  MLB needs to do something to shake up their sport, to inject juice into their season.  Because when Yankees vs Red Sox gets the Kanye shrug from fans, you know there is a big problem.

Life in the Matrix Part II: Take the Blue Pill

Posted: August 27, 2011 by arayegee in Just Turrible




F*ck a reality show. The fact that its scripted makes the its very existence as a genre a big, fat oxymoron. The only thing real about most of these 21st century reality shows is how much they really suck.

Yea, Basketball Wives is my #1 show, too.

Do you remember in high school when everybody wanted to work at Foot Locker? And in college when everybody wanted to throw a party? Yea, well adulthood is upon us, and we have stumbled on the newest idiot job: the reality show. If I had a nickel for every group of friends that said, ‘they should make a reality show about us!’, id have my graduate school loans already paid off.

I cant pinpoint when it happened, but between MJ’s prime and Kobe’s revival 2nd tier athletes and their female (I use that term extremely loosely) accomplices have come together and monopolized this moronic “business venture” . I am all for maximizing your fame into a financial gain. MY problem is that the majority of these athletes aren’t even performing at a high enough level at their PRIMARY occupation to be worried about some damn TV show. These marginal athletes don’t realize that when they half-ass in their sport, but have enough time and energy to do promos for a crappy TV ad, we can’t help but to think that you’re not focused. And spare me the ‘I’m expanding my empire’ speech. Because as soon as your team cuts you, you’ll just be another D-list celebrity doing late night infomercials for some innovative kitchen appliance. Chad Ochocinco, I like you brother, but we have given you enough extensions on your 15 minutes of fuckery. Shutup and catch some touchdowns.

Athletes don’t want to be rappers anymore, they want to be actors. Can it be done? Absolutely. But miss another free throw and watch how eager your fans are ready to NOT  support your new movie. What Im trying to say is, as an athlete your success in any business venture is ultimately tied to your performance in your respective sport. You cant shit the bed in your first career and expect us to take you seriously in your next. (Heath Shuler is the only exception to this rule). More importantly, don’t play us for fools. Telling us that you’re showing ‘the real you’ by cutting a reality show is like going to a zoo and the keeper telling us this is how the leopards really act in the wild. NO. A wild leopard wouldn’t watch you meander in its territory as you talked to a group of ignorant city slickers, it would eat your fucking face off. We know that’s not how you really are, so spare us. The damage you are doing is twofold: not only are you embarrassing yourself with this ridiculous charade, you are embarrassing us as fans of your team, especially when your performance on the field declines.

And this Basketball Wives epidemic spreading through America just needs to stop. I’m sure those women on this show would call me a ‘hay-terrr’, but they need to realize something: you are the catalyst of the problem that is Black America. I hate you all for what you do the little girls who dream to be the seminal recipients of professional athletes. I despise the intelligent, strong Black Women who defend this show on the grounds that ‘its just entertainment’. Do you know what entertainment was in the 1930s? Lynching niggers. Rousing good time that was, huh?

I digress. I just had to get that off my chest.

Real personalities in sports can be shown without the bullcrap reality shows. Clinton Portis, John Riggins, Joe Namath, Chris ‘Birdman’ Anderson, Chris Cooley, Peyton Manning, Deion Sanders (he had a show but he gets a pass. He’s PRIMETIME.) The list goes on. These people we see on reality shows are obviously attention whores, but the athletes must be attention addicts. Your face, your image, even your salary is already on public display. We don’t need any more of you, but you feed us more against our will. Old school gentleman and chivalrous gentleman of the present will tell ladies that ‘less is more’. Its time to tell these male athletes the same thing, and pull down their skirt while they’re at it.

PS….outside of a few mandatory watches of ‘Say Yes to the Dress’, ain’t no Tuesday-Friday reality show time fellas need to be watchin!

Life in the Matrix…Athletes and Reality TV

Posted: August 26, 2011 by dontbeskerritt in Just Turrible

This Is Our Newest Reality Star...Sorry I'm Going To Pass on This One

A fan and avid supporter of The ManCave06 requested our take on more and more athletes spreading their wings to network TV, specifically reality TV shows.  You may not have heard but Shawn “The Matrix” Marion from the world champion Dallas Mavericks is coming out with a reality show named The Ladies in my Life.  The show will follow Marion as he interacts with, you guessed it, all the ladies in his life.  No, I don’t mean side joints and scalawags; he was raised around all girls, with his mother and also a sister that can dunk.  It sounds like Marion needs some side joints in this show because he really is living in the matrix if he thinks anyone would watch that program.

Look, I am all for athletes using their fame to maximize their dollars.  You have a short window of fame to capitalize on, so athlete should reach for every dollar they can.  Also, for those with Histrionic Personality Disorder, such as Chad Ochocinco, these guys have to feed their desire to constantly be the center of attention.  But I fail to see how anything that happens on these shows could benefit the athletes on the field of play.

Take the first season of Basketball Wives in 2010; a show that amazingly doesn’t feature any true basketball wives.  Gloria Govan, Matt Barnes’ fiance (now ex-fiance) was a star on the show, but quickly separated herself from the rest of the “wives” for actually acting normal.  Barnes, who was on the Orlando Magic at the time, was distracted and embarrassed by the show, and told his teammates he wasn’t going to watch it.  This was even more ironic because one of the other “wives” of the show, Royce Reed, is the mother of Dwight Howard’s son.  However, you would not know this by watching the show because Howard has a gag order on Reed where she can’t mention Howard’s name or bring up her son.  The Magic did not make the Finals that year after making it the prior year.  Coincidence?  I don’t know but the show definitely did not help.

It isn’t all bad for athletes.  Lamar Odom enjoyed one of his best seasons of his career during which he co-starred in a show with his wife Khloe Kardashian. Athletes have dominated Dancing With The Stars since its inception.  Dhani Jones has a great show on the Travel Channel called Dhani Tackles the Globe.  HBO documentary shows like Hard Knocks, and 24/7 are some of the best TV out right now.  And of course, who wouldn’t want some extra cash for TV appearances and potential sponsorship opportunities.

To me, if you are one of the top athletes in the game, this is something that you don’t want to be a part of.  The best athletes that I have seen in one of these wives/ex-wives/baby-moms/jumpoffs show is Lamar Odom and Dwight Howard’s ghost.   You don’t see Kobe Bryant or Michael Vick rushing to be on any show.  In fact, Vick cancelled the reality show he was suppose to be on in 2010 and he was a back-up QB.  The potential for problems outweighs the profits to be made.   Shaquille O’Neal had a beef with ex-teammate Steve Nash over his idea for a reality show.  Terrell Owens tore his ACL in the offseason; reports say he was filming a reality show.  T.O. already showed that he has no personality on his show, now he suffers career threatening injuries because of it.  No sir, I can do without these guys on these shows.

I didn’t even get to touch on the relationship aspect of these shows.  Remember, these are real people, in real, albeit strategically created, relationships.  Marriages and engagements are tough enough as it is; when the cameras and lights shine a light on it, an already tough situation becomes and abnormal one for these celebrity relationship.  The cameras fool these couples into thinking their relationship is now a temporary job, instead of a committed covenant that they have with one another.  To prove my point, here is the Real Housewives of Atlanta’ Lisa-Wu Hartwell discussing her husband Ed Hartwell’s thoughts of attempting a comeback with the Oakland Raiders in the 2008 offseason on the show The Real Housewives of Atlanta. (start at :49 – there is commentary throughout so bear with it)

I’m all about being concerned about your spouse when they attempt something out of the norm.  But it’s not like Hartwell wasn’t a professional football player before, he is well aware of the risks involved.  He was just entering his 30s, so he had a few good years left of football.  Sorry, Mrs. Hartwell (actually not anymore, the two are getting a divorce) you showed your true colors with the “wheeling around in a wheelchair” comment.  They say when the grass is cut, the snakes will show.  In this case, when the camera is rolling, the gold-diggers come strolling.

In the end, I believe these reality shows can have some purpose in your mancave.  Tuesdays-Fridays should be spent bonding with your significant other, so you can have the weekend for football (I kid, I kid…kind of).  With athletes now a part of the Tuesday-Friday experience, it is much easier to sit through these shows with your loved one.  Besides, you get to see another side (albeit scripted) of the players you cheer for on the weekend.  But as we say in the mancave, sports competition is the ultimate reality show.  We just want to see athletes on the court or on the field.  The only relationships we want to pay attention to is our own.

On Payday Friday, here is 2 cents from the Mancave 06.  Be easy.

To be loved!: The Michael Vick melodrama

Posted: August 25, 2011 by deedeestonz in NFL

The melodramatic format allows the character to work through their difficulties or surmount the problems with resolute endurance, sacrificial acts, and steadfast bravery. – Wikipedia


I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about how the Philadelphia Eagles season will mirror that of the Miami Heat (i.e. big money = big disappointment) and after about 5 minutes of going toe-to-toe with him I had to ask for clarification “Wait, aren’t you a Giants fan???” to which he replied “Yea but I ride for Vick though.”  And that statement alone brings me to the question: Why do we (and when I say we I mean why “we the people of the United States”…well mostly the BLACK people of the United States) love Michael Vick so darn much?!

This post will be short because as I have found out from numerous conversations with Vick fans, they can’t really say why they all of a sudden like him so much!  But these are the two reasons I got the most:

1. He’s the “underdog”

Oh really? Did we consider Vick the underdog before or AFTER he got locked up for dog fighting???  Going to jail seems to be a requirement for our love. Hell it worked for A.I. so why not for Vick too?  The only difference…Allen Iverson was indeed a KID when he was involved in the brawl AND he was somewhat innocent.  Vick was an adult who decided to cruelly fight dogs. And that Toure argument that he was normalized to it because he seen it growing up…give me a freaking break!

Folks we have GOT to stop.  My friend just tweeted me that he respects Vick because he took control of his future. 0_0 Boy bye! He had control of his future the day he signed that NFL contract.  I am sure his family and friends weren’t holding a gun to his head making him fight dogs or even fund the operation.  The fact of the matter is he made a stupid decision that could have ruined his life.  Kudos to him for turning it around but PLEASE don’t make his situation seem like it was something done to him…he did it to himself.

2. That boy got talent!

Bringing it back to football, yes Michael Vick is talented.  In fact I would argue that his success is majority based off of raw talent.  Let’s face it Vick does not and probably never will possess the fundamental acumen that is supposedly required of the QB position like Peyton Manning does (I make the argument that Ben Rothelesberger doesn’t either but this ain’t about him).  But clearly he got SKILLZ so he is basically telling the league “eff your fundamentals!” and c’mon who doesn’t love that???  Vick plays the QB position with a type of reckless abandonment that is basically unheard of and guess what? He makes it work!  So while sometimes he does things on the field that are super cringe-worthy most of us give him credit for just having the BALLS to attempt an out of the box play.

In my eyes the only valid reason to like Michael Vick is reason #2.  He is a great football player.  That is it.  Anything beyond that is hogwash.  All that talk about his “circumstances” and what he battled back from? Kill that noise.  At the end of the day he did his time and now he is back to doing what he most likely does best…playing ball! So please next time someone asks you why you pucker a little everytime someone mentions #7 just stick to what the man does on the field. Plain and simple.

The 10 CoMADDENments

Posted: August 24, 2011 by arayegee in Mancave Fundamentals, NFL

August 30th, 2011 marks the release of the Madden 2012. This game really needs no introduction, but to the gents without testicles and the gals without gents, I shall giveth you a brief introduction.

Never get this close to a TV. Then you cant see your wideouts.

Madden is the premier football video game. For the next calendar year, the casual (Black) video gamer will really only need three games: Call of Duty, NBA2K, and Madden. (Those who play NBA Live will be forcibly removed from the ManCave).  Madden is a rite of passage for male adolescents, one that establishes the pecking order in male social groups. It is a must-have in ManCaves, the #1 option for killing time. If Madden is an addiction, then its the most social drug of all time outside of marijuana and alcohol. In fact, the combination of the three should be on every collegiate ManCaver’s bucket list. Each edition of Madden brings a few new features and wrinkles, and this one will not be any different. However, in the hallowed fraternity of Madden Phi Phootball, Inc., there are things that remain steadfast throughout each year.  These guidelines are sacred, and must be strictly followed so as to preserve the legacy and tradition of this cherished event. Moses had commandments. We at the ManCave have mandates, for we know that if these rules are not followed, violent repercussions shall commence expeditiously. Ladies and loser-men, I advise you to not dismiss this game as child’s play.  I have seen many women leave rooms disappointed as their man has denied requests for quality time for One more go ‘round of madden. And ladies, avoid the urge to offer your man ‘The Yams” during madden, you will not like the end result. (this will be explained in the CoMADDENments)

Relationships will be tested. Friendships will be scarred (just you emotional, punk ass online gamers), and time management will be thrown into a matrix. However, if our mandates are adhered to, these things do not need to happen. So print this blog, post it in your mancave or gaming area, and before every Madden session make it necessary for every Madden gamer, friend of a Madden gamer, and significant other of a Madden gamer to take a look at…

Fun Fact: Moses is Madden's grandfather.

The 10 ComMADDENments

  1. 1.       Speaketh NOT to a madden player while engaged in a game of madden unless first spoken to. All questions and comments will be taken at the conclusion of the game, a timeout, or by an inadvertent push of the “start” Button.


  1. 2.      Thou shalt not use the best team on the game to play against an opponent. All wins will be considered half wins and all losses will be seen as ‘skunk’. No exceptions.



  1. 3.      The 21-0 ‘Skunk’ rule goes as such: if your opponent is up 21-0, you give your controller to the victor, you find the back of the line, and you go there.

  1. 4.     Placing your body, or anything in your possession, in the line of sight of the television while a game is in session is grounds for dismissal from the gaming area and/or banishment from all mancaves for 1 week.


  1. 5.      Your online madden level must be a true representation of your experience and gaming expertise. Playing your geriatric uncle and his half-blind friends in an online match may make you a level 17, but a solid level 4 kicks your ass up and down the field, you will be exposed and sentenced to do time in the kitchen.


  1. 6.     After an crushing defeat, one must not ask for a rematch from the victor for approximately 72 hours OR after he/she has proven themselves as a worthy adversary.


  1. 7.      Women, if you make the decision to present your man “The YAMS” during a madden session, they will be graciously accepted….but do not be surprised if that madden game is un-paused and continued once the yams have been candied. Its best to just leave your man alone. *men, adhere to this rule at your own discretion. its best to flat-out deny yams, or you might catch a case of the “cut-offs”.


  1. 8.      Your madden:work ratio should be 1:4. So if you work 40 hours a week, yo ass shalt not be playing madden for more than 10 hours every seven days. The only exemption to this comaddenment is during the first two weeks after the initial release date or purchase.



  1. 9.     The home team shall choose what jersey they will wear and the away team will choose their jerseys accordingly. The two jerseys must contrast!!! No more red vs red or black vs black. Thou shalt not do that annoying shit. That shit might get thine ass kicked.


  1. 10.  Thou shalt never ask a gamer to quit a game during his franchise. A real madden gamer understands the bond between him and his franchise. You begin to develop emotions for the players in real life. You even begin to develop them for the spontaneously created players. This bond is passionate. Do not interfere with the bond *Avatar voice*.


Read. And accept.



And sign here ___________________________________________________

It was released today that the owner of the Carolina Panthers told or suggested Cam Newton to not get any tattoos. Without even thinking this quickly becomes an issue of marketability and race.

Do Tattoos hurt the marketability of professional athletes?

I agree with those who would say no they do not. This is not White Corporate America. This is sports world that is filled with successful athletes who could easily be a fill in any rap video has rappers tatted up hype man. In my opinion being marketable means you appeal to the majority of the audience in your industry. What I mean is that if playing basketball you need to appeal to those fans who watch basketball, football to football, so on and so forth…

According to the Forbes list of the 50 highest paid athletes guess who were 2 and 3 on that list. My namesake LeBron James and Kobe Bryant. Has tattoos hurt their image? Nope! Tattoos have not hurt their marketability because of their exceptional play on the court. Kobe has smanged a white woman, snitched on Shaq, and many other “Out of Pocket” situations he has been involved in (See Scoopbald Article on Out Of Pocket Situtations”) Kobe has won a title since than, and everyone in LA forget that this Black man cheated with this white woman. He is still very marketable

The list can go on and on of examples of athletes who are marketed everyday and are tatted up. I would say the same goes for football which is the sport Cam Newton plays. In football I think it is more so an evaluation of their conduct on and off the field that plays a bigger role in their marketability since they wear pads. Many black football players have been on the cover of madden. See Video

See covers starting with Madden 2000

Sports is apart of the entertainment industry and the key to maintaining your marketability is to be sucessful on your playing field, and maintaining a somewhat respectable off the field life. In the entertainment industry you must act according to your industry. Would you take fashion advice from a person who wears jeans and white tee everywhere???? Tattoos on athletes do not hurt the players marketability maybe their conduct at times but not tattoos. If a black athlete loses his marketability I believe it is there conduct not tattoos.

Should Panthers Owner have mentioned this to Cam?

No, he should have kept his nose out of Cam’s personal life. Cam is a grown ass man he can put a tattoo anywhere he wants for all I care. Tattoos, gold teeth, shags, dreads, wigs, bald heads, mohawks, ear rings, none of these affect the marketability of athletes as long as they perform on the field, and our respected by the majority of the fan base they perform for.

Is it racist?

I will actually let the comments speak on the racism part of this, but I will leave you with this quote. Listen to Wale (Shoutout to the DMV) Varisty Blues on the Eleven on Eleven Theory. There is one line that says “They ain’t calling you a N***a while you selling them tickets”. Once ticket sales increase in Carolina because people want to see Cam Newton perform on the field. The owner wouldn’t care what Cam looks like as long as he sells tickets and produces on the field.

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There are several different kinds of players, allow me to help you recognize what you’re dealing with. I’ll give you some signs and some general tips along the way… without further adieu…

First up: The Novice


Ok so you want to play fantasy football – great. You understand the game and you want to enhance your football season experience by trying your hand (hopefully with no money involved) at fantasy football. Grab a magazine, find some blogs, just promise that you’ll at least stick with it throughout the year. Few things are more frustrating than being in a draft with an autopick person who in turn never changes their roster the whole year (even on bye weeks). Fantasy football can be as involved or uninvolved and fun as you like, but most people would appreciate at least some level of active participation. I’m all for winning, but I’d at least like to know I beat you at your best (whatever that may be).


The Oblivious Jackass


So – you’ve been around the block before & officially “get” fantasy football better at some level higher the Novice. But you have no flippin’ idea who’s worth that mid round pick or who’s really going to help your team. This player may pick someone just because they recognize the name or they were good 4 years and 2 knee surgeries ago…


Case and point: I was in a draft in 2006, had the 6th overall pick in the first round. Who falls in my lap? LaDainian Tomlinson.


(side bar: check out this high-coonery:

This guy, (we’ll refer to him as, uhm, Gavin) said “Oh you know LT is DONE…blah blah blah). That year LT ran for 1,815 yards and 33 total touchdowns (28 rushing, 3 receiving, 2 passing).

Maybe Gavin was just talking crap – who knows, but the next year (2007) Gavin proceeded to draft Tiki Barber in the 4th round… after Barber had retired…

Later that season, I picked up Adrian Peterson from the Bears (

 not to be confused with… 

This guy sent me a trade offer giving me Reggie Wayne & Kurt Warner for Peterson. Of course I accepted it. Need I say any more? Take advantage of these ass-clowns when you find them. Do your due diligence to NOT be that guy…


The Homer


Great, you’re a football fanatic (aren’t we all?!). You’ve got the ropes of fantasy football down to a T and you’re pumped for draft day. The only problem is, you throw all of your eggs in one basket – you’re a homer. Having a team is great, matter of fact, I encourage it (so long as your not a bandwaggoner…) – it makes the season that much more interesting. But don’t take it too far… I’ve been in a draft where one guy selected: Tom Brady, Wes Welker, Randy Moss, Lawrence Maroney, Benjamin Watson and the Patriots Defense – really?! Talk about bye-week hell – let alone being a major injury or two away from a wasted fantasy season (and money if they are dumb enough).


On the other hand, there is a milder version of the Homer, the person who avoids players from a team because the play on their favorite team’s rival. As a Skins fan, if there is a Cowboy player that will help me win (and win money) I’m drafting him. So I’ll draft Tony Romo, and I hope he throws for 400 yards and 4 TD’s against the skins – but also he throws 3 pick 6’s and the cowboys lose by at least one point. If a player is good, draft him. It’s as simple as that. Now if the team sucks (read: the Bengals this year) – avoiding players on that team may not be so hare-brained. But keep in mind that someone on that team is going to have to run and pass and catch the ball. You could find some gems on these sorry squads (see Calvin Johnson 2008 – Lions went 0-16 – Megatron went for 1,331 yards and 12 TDs).


The Shit-Talking Average Joe


Ok maybe you’ve played for a few years, even made the playoffs a few times. You show up for your draft (maybe leaving after the 9th round?) and you always bench players that are on a bye. Bravo. But you talk a bunch of crap (which is all in fun) but your team is average as hell. Few things are more frustrating than to lose to someone who’s kicker goes for 20 points in a game and you lose by 1 point to this clown. This guy might also draft the Steelers and the Ravens defense back to back and hope you are desperate enough to trade for them. Hardcore players, beware…


Regular dude


Generally unremarkable. Like S.T.A.J. but minus the shit talking.


Demi-Guru/Hardcore player


Ok, admittedly I spend too much time on this stuff. But I have made money in the process. Last year I played in 13 leagues and I won 4. Not a perfect record, but 9 of my teams made the playoffs. With the amount of uncertainty and luck involved in fantasy football – I’d say that’s pretty good. But back to the hardcore players, you do your scouting in the preseason, maybe buy a magazine or two. Shit, you may even subscribe to a site like You run a few teams every year and you make the playoffs more often than not. Maybe theMancave can put you over the top…


Other comments…


With fantasy football, you usually get back what you put in. At some point you may realize your team isn’t going anywhere but there’s always next year. Maintain the integrity of the league and don’t cut all of your players. Accept your team’s position and maybe try to knock someone out of the playoffs. All in all, fantasy football makes the entire season more interesting and expands fans from their niche of their favorite team to becoming fans of the entire league. Good luck this season (unless you’re playing me).


Be Easy,



In hindsight, this was against the Panthers. But double coverage is double coverage.

Arizona WR Larry Fitzgerald broke the bank a few days ago by signing an absurdly large contract for 8 years and $120 million, effectively making him a Cardinal for life. Couldnt have happened to a better guy, and its really good to see a team truly make an investment who has been the heart and soul of this franchise. Model citizen, leader on and off the field, spectacular character.

That being said, I wonder if the front office of the Cardinals were a little to trigger happy with this deal.  50 million dollars guaranteed for a receiver? Wow, son. We could very well be looking at the beginning of the end.

Whats my beef exactly? Its not necessarily the person who received the contract, it’s the precedent it will set for the position he plays.  Yes, Larry is an All-Pro wideout, and he is a 90 catch, 1100 guy. He doesnt make any noise off the field, but his presence is always felt on it. You dont see him take plays off, even in the most futile of situations. You cant ask for much more in a player. But to give a player who’s position is so reliant on the success of another? Thats absurd. The only positions that truly deserve a $100 million dollar contracts are left tackles (or right tackles if the quarterback is left-handed) and quarterbacks. Period. Locking up 15 million bucks a year in a wide receiver is completely foolish, especially when your team has significant holes to fill in other places (Defensive End, starting LBs who each have 10+ seasons under their belt,).

And these stats. You cant ask much more from a receiver, but I have the slightest of feelings that he is a glorified TJ Houshmandzadeh. Peep TJ stats from 2006-2007.  Lets take this even further, seeing as that the NFL is a ‘what have you done for me lately’ type league.

Given the numbers accrued over the past two years, which receiver would YOU choose from if you had a choice?

WR #1: 29 games, 187 receptions, 2785 yards, 17 TDs

WR #2: 29 games, 209 receptions, 2196 yards, 11 TDs

WR #3: 32 games, 187 receptions, 2229 yards, 19 TDs

WR #4: 29 games, 144 receptions, 2104 yards, 17 TDs

*These are four elite receivers in the league, and these are their actual stats*

Made your decision? Good. If you ask me, you could make a case for any of these numbers. The problem is, none of these numbers equal $50 million dollars guaranteed. NONE. This is a classic case of a team going too gaga over their best player. We have seen other leagues overpay their stars and witnessed the fallout from negotiations of other players with comparable statistics. Not that the Cardinals should worry about any other teams and their players, but we did just come off the heels of a lockout, and I think all 32 franchises should be a little more financially accountable to one another, at least for the league’s sake. That being said, unless you’re a stats geek, you really couldnt pick out Fitzgerald’s stats.  Im not giving that much money to someone who cant pass a statistical eye test.

Secondly, as my Mancaver Scoopbald stated in his post on “The Real McCoy”, posting big numbers in the NFC West is like winning a footrace against a quadriplegic.  This is to lessen Larry’s effect on the game, it’s just mentioning the cupcakes he has the opportunity to face 6 times a season.  Name a defensive back in the NFC West that isnt on the Cardinals. Dont worry, I’ll wait.

Im not seeing how this much of an investment in a wide receiver makes any sense, especially when your quarterback is still unproven. Kevin Kolb is the football equivalent of a really pretty girl who is a complete prude. Looks good, has a great upside, and draws interest from all the boys in the yard. But when it comes down to the nitty gritty, she’s not about that life. Kolb has absolutely nothing impressive on his resume. He got his job taken by a man who spent the previous two years in prison.  This is the quarterback thats supposed to get the ball to your $100 million dollar man? Hmmmm. Okay.

I hope Larry can continue being consistently productive, but im unsure if he. or any wideout for that matter, should ever see bucks that big.

What Operating System Are You Running?

Posted: August 23, 2011 by RenzReport in Mancave Fundamentals

Did the hard drive on the Smith household crash?

Dear Tech Support:


Date: 1997-08-09, 8:52PM MST

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon notice that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, SportsCenter 7.5, and ManCave Lounging 3.6. I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!


Troubled user….



Dear troubled user:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by it’s Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfried 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOIGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversable
damage to the operating system.

Best of luck!

Tech Support< /O:P

DC…Capital of Basketball World (for a night)

Posted: August 22, 2011 by dontbeskerritt in NBA

Mancave06 Friend Rike Akande with James Harden

If there was ever a night to be in the DMV, it was last Saturday, August 20.  Some of the best basketball players in the country were gathered, not in a spacious and sparkling downtown arena, but an intimate college gym in Northeast DC.  Kevin Durant donned brilliant Redskin-color shoes.  Mayor Vincent Gray sat on the Goodman League bench.  The familiar voice of Miles Rawls, in his Alldaz white tee, added his own unique commentary during game action.  Go-go music played at halftime on the internet feed that was provided for those who couldn’t get into the overflowing arena.  Everything about the event oozed DC flavor and in the end that flavor helped the Goodman League squeak by the more-heralded Drew League out of Los Angeles, 135-134.

This was the night DC basketball has been looking forward to for a while.  A night where the hidden jewel of the DMV’s love for hoops was unveiled for the entire world.  An amped crowd was treated to a hard-fought, passionate game from both sides.  Hard fouls, actual good defense, and a fierce comeback by the Drew League in the 3rd quarter created a once-in-a-lifetime game for those that are usually unable to get to the Verizon Center.

The Goodman League has been around for a long time, but hasn’t gotten the respect that other leagues around the country have gotten.  Even some basketball crazed residents of the District don’t know about the Goodman League, and if they did, they are wary of traveling to that heralded asphalt court.  Miles Rawls, commissioner and ambassador of the league has long for his league to be the talk of the basketball world.  The Goodman League had many good players come through it, such as Durant, along with Michael Beasley, and more recently John Wall, but it could never reach the elite status of Rucker Park or the Drew League.  Gilbert Arenas brought some acclaim to the Barry Farm courts, when he played there to prove his surgically repaired knees were fine.  But it took this weekend, with the hype of the contest dubbed “Capital Punishment,” for the Goodman League to start getting the love it deserves.

This is the type of event that could be a jewel in the crown for this city.  To have that many athletes that would pay their own way to compete in this exhibition game, spoke to the prestige that the DC area has in the basketball world.  The game started out as a high-flying affair, with an alley-hoop to JaVale McGee, then with Wall following with an alley to Durant.  Goodman dominated play early on with physical play by DeMarcus Cousins, long-range shooting from Durant, who finished with a game-high 44, and various cold spells by the Drew League.  Goodman was up 11 at the half, and the crowd was pumped by the quality of play from both sides.

It wasn’t all a piece of cake for the Goodman League.  Numerous people were turned away from the door with legitimate tickets.  Rawls has promised to reimburse all of those turned away.  On the court, the Goodman League blew a 16-point lead in the 3rd quarter.  Brandon Jennings, after he scored 2 of his 38 points C-walked on the court, as the West Coast team seemed to have all the momentum at that point.  But Wall and Durant took over from there.  Even Gary Neal, who seemed out-of-place with the structured game he learned from San Antonio, contributed down the stretch.  Harden, Jennings, and DeMar DeRozan kept Drew in the game, but after two free-throws by Durant to make it 135-134, Jennings last-second pull up was short and Harden’s desperate attempt was blocked by Durant to seal the game.

After the game, the hard play on the court morphed into mutual respect by both teams.  There is already talk of a rematch in LA in September, with Kobe Bryant being the missing piece to put Drew over the top; as long as the lockout continues.  But at least for one night, DC proved it belonged at the top of the mountain when it comes to basketball.  From us at the ManCave, who are born and raised in the DMV, we give a Coon Salute to the Goodman League. Way to represent for the ‘urrea’.