Life in the Matrix Part II: Take the Blue Pill

Posted: August 27, 2011 by arayegee in Just Turrible

*PARENTAL DISCRETION ADVISED*

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F*ck a reality show. The fact that its scripted makes the its very existence as a genre a big, fat oxymoron. The only thing real about most of these 21st century reality shows is how much they really suck.

Yea, Basketball Wives is my #1 show, too.

Do you remember in high school when everybody wanted to work at Foot Locker? And in college when everybody wanted to throw a party? Yea, well adulthood is upon us, and we have stumbled on the newest idiot job: the reality show. If I had a nickel for every group of friends that said, ‘they should make a reality show about us!’, id have my graduate school loans already paid off.

I cant pinpoint when it happened, but between MJ’s prime and Kobe’s revival 2nd tier athletes and their female (I use that term extremely loosely) accomplices have come together and monopolized this moronic “business venture” . I am all for maximizing your fame into a financial gain. MY problem is that the majority of these athletes aren’t even performing at a high enough level at their PRIMARY occupation to be worried about some damn TV show. These marginal athletes don’t realize that when they half-ass in their sport, but have enough time and energy to do promos for a crappy TV ad, we can’t help but to think that you’re not focused. And spare me the ‘I’m expanding my empire’ speech. Because as soon as your team cuts you, you’ll just be another D-list celebrity doing late night infomercials for some innovative kitchen appliance. Chad Ochocinco, I like you brother, but we have given you enough extensions on your 15 minutes of fuckery. Shutup and catch some touchdowns.

Athletes don’t want to be rappers anymore, they want to be actors. Can it be done? Absolutely. But miss another free throw and watch how eager your fans are ready to NOT  support your new movie. What Im trying to say is, as an athlete your success in any business venture is ultimately tied to your performance in your respective sport. You cant shit the bed in your first career and expect us to take you seriously in your next. (Heath Shuler is the only exception to this rule). More importantly, don’t play us for fools. Telling us that you’re showing ‘the real you’ by cutting a reality show is like going to a zoo and the keeper telling us this is how the leopards really act in the wild. NO. A wild leopard wouldn’t watch you meander in its territory as you talked to a group of ignorant city slickers, it would eat your fucking face off. We know that’s not how you really are, so spare us. The damage you are doing is twofold: not only are you embarrassing yourself with this ridiculous charade, you are embarrassing us as fans of your team, especially when your performance on the field declines.

And this Basketball Wives epidemic spreading through America just needs to stop. I’m sure those women on this show would call me a ‘hay-terrr’, but they need to realize something: you are the catalyst of the problem that is Black America. I hate you all for what you do the little girls who dream to be the seminal recipients of professional athletes. I despise the intelligent, strong Black Women who defend this show on the grounds that ‘its just entertainment’. Do you know what entertainment was in the 1930s? Lynching niggers. Rousing good time that was, huh?

I digress. I just had to get that off my chest.

Real personalities in sports can be shown without the bullcrap reality shows. Clinton Portis, John Riggins, Joe Namath, Chris ‘Birdman’ Anderson, Chris Cooley, Peyton Manning, Deion Sanders (he had a show but he gets a pass. He’s PRIMETIME.) The list goes on. These people we see on reality shows are obviously attention whores, but the athletes must be attention addicts. Your face, your image, even your salary is already on public display. We don’t need any more of you, but you feed us more against our will. Old school gentleman and chivalrous gentleman of the present will tell ladies that ‘less is more’. Its time to tell these male athletes the same thing, and pull down their skirt while they’re at it.

PS….outside of a few mandatory watches of ‘Say Yes to the Dress’, ain’t no Tuesday-Friday reality show time fellas need to be watchin!

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Comments
  1. deedeestonz says:

    Tell ’em why you mad son!!!! I wholeheartedly agree with everything you just said (even after I spent 30 minutes of my work day watching the LA version of BBW…in which time I think I lost as many brain cells as I would have if I went out to the parking lot and smoked a joint).

    seminal…wow…I need to figure out how to use this in my everyday speech and not the ACTUAL meaning either! LOL!

  2. […] Life in the Matrix Part II: Take the Blue Pill Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]

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