Archive for August, 2011

In hindsight, this was against the Panthers. But double coverage is double coverage.

Arizona WR Larry Fitzgerald broke the bank a few days ago by signing an absurdly large contract for 8 years and $120 million, effectively making him a Cardinal for life. Couldnt have happened to a better guy, and its really good to see a team truly make an investment who has been the heart and soul of this franchise. Model citizen, leader on and off the field, spectacular character.

That being said, I wonder if the front office of the Cardinals were a little to trigger happy with this deal.  50 million dollars guaranteed for a receiver? Wow, son. We could very well be looking at the beginning of the end.

Whats my beef exactly? Its not necessarily the person who received the contract, it’s the precedent it will set for the position he plays.  Yes, Larry is an All-Pro wideout, and he is a 90 catch, 1100 guy. He doesnt make any noise off the field, but his presence is always felt on it. You dont see him take plays off, even in the most futile of situations. You cant ask for much more in a player. But to give a player who’s position is so reliant on the success of another? Thats absurd. The only positions that truly deserve a $100 million dollar contracts are left tackles (or right tackles if the quarterback is left-handed) and quarterbacks. Period. Locking up 15 million bucks a year in a wide receiver is completely foolish, especially when your team has significant holes to fill in other places (Defensive End, starting LBs who each have 10+ seasons under their belt,).

And these stats. You cant ask much more from a receiver, but I have the slightest of feelings that he is a glorified TJ Houshmandzadeh. Peep TJ stats from 2006-2007.  Lets take this even further, seeing as that the NFL is a ‘what have you done for me lately’ type league.

Given the numbers accrued over the past two years, which receiver would YOU choose from if you had a choice?

WR #1: 29 games, 187 receptions, 2785 yards, 17 TDs

WR #2: 29 games, 209 receptions, 2196 yards, 11 TDs

WR #3: 32 games, 187 receptions, 2229 yards, 19 TDs

WR #4: 29 games, 144 receptions, 2104 yards, 17 TDs

*These are four elite receivers in the league, and these are their actual stats*

Made your decision? Good. If you ask me, you could make a case for any of these numbers. The problem is, none of these numbers equal $50 million dollars guaranteed. NONE. This is a classic case of a team going too gaga over their best player. We have seen other leagues overpay their stars and witnessed the fallout from negotiations of other players with comparable statistics. Not that the Cardinals should worry about any other teams and their players, but we did just come off the heels of a lockout, and I think all 32 franchises should be a little more financially accountable to one another, at least for the league’s sake. That being said, unless you’re a stats geek, you really couldnt pick out Fitzgerald’s stats.  Im not giving that much money to someone who cant pass a statistical eye test.

Secondly, as my Mancaver Scoopbald stated in his post on “The Real McCoy”, posting big numbers in the NFC West is like winning a footrace against a quadriplegic.  This is to lessen Larry’s effect on the game, it’s just mentioning the cupcakes he has the opportunity to face 6 times a season.  Name a defensive back in the NFC West that isnt on the Cardinals. Dont worry, I’ll wait.

Im not seeing how this much of an investment in a wide receiver makes any sense, especially when your quarterback is still unproven. Kevin Kolb is the football equivalent of a really pretty girl who is a complete prude. Looks good, has a great upside, and draws interest from all the boys in the yard. But when it comes down to the nitty gritty, she’s not about that life. Kolb has absolutely nothing impressive on his resume. He got his job taken by a man who spent the previous two years in prison.  This is the quarterback thats supposed to get the ball to your $100 million dollar man? Hmmmm. Okay.

I hope Larry can continue being consistently productive, but im unsure if he. or any wideout for that matter, should ever see bucks that big.


What Operating System Are You Running?

Posted: August 23, 2011 by RenzReport in Mancave Fundamentals

Did the hard drive on the Smith household crash?

Dear Tech Support:


Date: 1997-08-09, 8:52PM MST

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon notice that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, SportsCenter 7.5, and ManCave Lounging 3.6. I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!


Troubled user….



Dear troubled user:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by it’s Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfried 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOIGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversable
damage to the operating system.

Best of luck!

Tech Support< /O:P

DC…Capital of Basketball World (for a night)

Posted: August 22, 2011 by dontbeskerritt in NBA

Mancave06 Friend Rike Akande with James Harden

If there was ever a night to be in the DMV, it was last Saturday, August 20.  Some of the best basketball players in the country were gathered, not in a spacious and sparkling downtown arena, but an intimate college gym in Northeast DC.  Kevin Durant donned brilliant Redskin-color shoes.  Mayor Vincent Gray sat on the Goodman League bench.  The familiar voice of Miles Rawls, in his Alldaz white tee, added his own unique commentary during game action.  Go-go music played at halftime on the internet feed that was provided for those who couldn’t get into the overflowing arena.  Everything about the event oozed DC flavor and in the end that flavor helped the Goodman League squeak by the more-heralded Drew League out of Los Angeles, 135-134.

This was the night DC basketball has been looking forward to for a while.  A night where the hidden jewel of the DMV’s love for hoops was unveiled for the entire world.  An amped crowd was treated to a hard-fought, passionate game from both sides.  Hard fouls, actual good defense, and a fierce comeback by the Drew League in the 3rd quarter created a once-in-a-lifetime game for those that are usually unable to get to the Verizon Center.

The Goodman League has been around for a long time, but hasn’t gotten the respect that other leagues around the country have gotten.  Even some basketball crazed residents of the District don’t know about the Goodman League, and if they did, they are wary of traveling to that heralded asphalt court.  Miles Rawls, commissioner and ambassador of the league has long for his league to be the talk of the basketball world.  The Goodman League had many good players come through it, such as Durant, along with Michael Beasley, and more recently John Wall, but it could never reach the elite status of Rucker Park or the Drew League.  Gilbert Arenas brought some acclaim to the Barry Farm courts, when he played there to prove his surgically repaired knees were fine.  But it took this weekend, with the hype of the contest dubbed “Capital Punishment,” for the Goodman League to start getting the love it deserves.

This is the type of event that could be a jewel in the crown for this city.  To have that many athletes that would pay their own way to compete in this exhibition game, spoke to the prestige that the DC area has in the basketball world.  The game started out as a high-flying affair, with an alley-hoop to JaVale McGee, then with Wall following with an alley to Durant.  Goodman dominated play early on with physical play by DeMarcus Cousins, long-range shooting from Durant, who finished with a game-high 44, and various cold spells by the Drew League.  Goodman was up 11 at the half, and the crowd was pumped by the quality of play from both sides.

It wasn’t all a piece of cake for the Goodman League.  Numerous people were turned away from the door with legitimate tickets.  Rawls has promised to reimburse all of those turned away.  On the court, the Goodman League blew a 16-point lead in the 3rd quarter.  Brandon Jennings, after he scored 2 of his 38 points C-walked on the court, as the West Coast team seemed to have all the momentum at that point.  But Wall and Durant took over from there.  Even Gary Neal, who seemed out-of-place with the structured game he learned from San Antonio, contributed down the stretch.  Harden, Jennings, and DeMar DeRozan kept Drew in the game, but after two free-throws by Durant to make it 135-134, Jennings last-second pull up was short and Harden’s desperate attempt was blocked by Durant to seal the game.

After the game, the hard play on the court morphed into mutual respect by both teams.  There is already talk of a rematch in LA in September, with Kobe Bryant being the missing piece to put Drew over the top; as long as the lockout continues.  But at least for one night, DC proved it belonged at the top of the mountain when it comes to basketball.  From us at the ManCave, who are born and raised in the DMV, we give a Coon Salute to the Goodman League. Way to represent for the ‘urrea’.

O.O.P.S. Oh My…Installment #1

Posted: August 21, 2011 by scoopbald in NFL

The Urban Dictionary defines Out Of Pocket as something that is out of control or way off base, usually deserving of a good slapping or a full-blown ass-kicking.  In sports we encounter situations that can be described as such every week.  So I pose the question;

What was the most Out Of Pocket Situation in sports over the past week?


NFL vs. Terrelle Pryor

We are now all well aware that Mr. Pryor was deemed eligible for the NFL Supplemental Draft, but in turn he is suspended for the first five games of the NFL season for…….(fill in the blank because I have no idea).  While Pryor was Out Of Pocket for what he did while at Ohio State, my vote goes to the NFL for all of the reasons outlined in our post, “Pryor Restrained”.



Basketball Hall of Fame Induction

I am a huge Dennis Rodman fan.  To me he was the best rebounder that I’ve ever seen and judging by the multiple championships that he won in the NBA, I would say that he is one of the greatest winners that the league has seen.  His personality was polarizing but his play was always stellar.  But Dennis, when you show up to a Hall of Fame induction looking like a pirate on his way to the promenade, I am obligated to call you out for being Out Of Pocket.


Nevin Shapiro vs. The U

I just don’t like snitches, especially those who do so because they are being held accountable for their own actions.  I do not agree with the institution of collegiate boosting but I do know this, individuals who choose to give special benefits to college athletes do so with the knowledge that it is illegal, and that there is no guarantee of return on their dollar.  To Shapiro I say, suck it up and shut it up…Out Of Pocket.

Check out this Uncle Luke interview.  Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.


America vs. China

Alright, this s*** has to stop.  First, Georgetown loses the Brawl for it All.  Then, Lebron James  gets his cookies taken, gets dunked on, and then lets the guy drain a three pointer in is face.  We have got to do better…Out Of Pocket.


Jermaine Lewis vs. Baltimore Police Department

All I have to say is read this article on  How the hell you gonna hit the sign at a fire department bruh???  Then the car was parked in his driveway and he was found on his couch with his shorts down to his knees.  Hey Jermaine, the lockout is over, no need to be in a drunken depression anymore…Out Of Pocket.


Feel free to add to the Out Of Pocket Situations list if you are so moved.

The Real McCoy??? S/O to RenzReport

Posted: August 21, 2011 by scoopbald in NFL

The QB position is the hardest position to evaluate in the NFL.  Take for example Terry Bradshaw; on one hand he won four Super Bowls and is enshrined in the NFL Hall of Fame.  Yet on the other hand he has a career passer rating of 70.9 and had a passer rating of 0.0 a NFL record, three different times.   Is he a great QB because he won, or is he average because of his career numbers?  I bring this up because fellow mancaver, Renz Report asked me whether or not Colt McCoy is the QB of the future for my beloved Cleveland Browns.  While at times last year McCoy looked like the answer (see Cleveland vs. New England) there were times where it looked as if the curse of Tim Couch will haunt Clevelanders  forever (see Cleveland vs. Pittsburgh). 

While reviews on McCoy have been mixed, analysts have gushed over the performance of NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year Sam Bradford.  Many believe that Bradford is the cream of the 2010 draft class.  I for one am not sold.  I cant say whether or not Bradford will pan out to be a better QB than McCoy but I can say that if last year is any indication, the two aren’t too far apart in terms of upside.  Lets take a look at the numbers shall we.

  Sam Bradford Colt McCoy
QB Rating









Completion %






















At first glance it seems that Bradford convincingly outperformed McCoy last year.  However there are several factors that play into and in my opinion skew that perception.

  1.  Bradford was the starter from day one and started all 16 games.  Naturally this is reflected in the numbers i.e. yards, completions, touchdowns etc.  More importantly, Bradford had the advantage of working with the 1st team offense all off-season as well as develop chemistry with his receivers.  They say in game experience is the only experience and as it stands Bradford has twice as much experience as McCoy.  This can be seen in the fact that Bradford posted two of his top three performances rating wise in his final eight starts.
  2. Bradford was in a more pass intensive offense.  Bradford averaged almost 38 pass attempts per game including five games with more than 40 attempts and one game of more than 50.  McCoy on the other hand only had one game where he attempted more than 40 passes.  However, McCoy averaged more yards per attempt and completion.  Based on the numbers, if McCoy had the opportunity to attempt 590 passes he would have racked up 359 completions and 4200 yards, both projections of course.
  3. Lets be honest, Bradford played in one of, if not the weakest division in the NFL last year so a 9-7 record is not that impressive to me.  Furthermore, when you look at the pass defenses that he faced last year, there is no wonder why analysts think that he took the league by storm last year.  In the 16 games that Bradford started last year, he only faced one opponent whose defense was top 10 as far as QB rating allowed.  In fact, he spent most of his season facing defenses in the bottom third of the league as far as defending the pass.  McCoy on the other hand faced 3 top 10 pass defenses in 8 games, 4 if you count the fact that he played the Steelers twice.  He also faced the Patriots (13th) and the Saints (15th) respectively.  All in all, McCoy’s schedule as a starter was borderline brutal, PIT, NO, NE, NYJ, JAC, CIN, BAL and PIT.  So even though he only posted a 2-6 record as a starter it is clear to see why. 

So Renard, to answer your question, I don’t know if Colt McCoy will be the QB of the future in Cleveland.  Hell, having to face the Steelers or the Ravens four times each season may prove to be too much for anyone.  I do know several things though.  First, McCoy looks a hell of a lot better than the last “franchise” QB that we drafted (F**k yo Couch n***).  Secondly, and maybe most importantly he stacks up pretty well against someone in the league that many analysts project to be a star for years to come.  Third his development will be largely influenced by Cleveland’s ability or lack there of to acquire talent at the receiver position.  While I like Josh Cribbs, you can not win if he is your best option at wideout.  Over the next few years we will find out if Bradford is overrated, or if Colt is the Real McCoy.

Pryor Restrained

Posted: August 18, 2011 by dontbeskerritt in College Football, NFL

I’m sorry, but I just don’t get this.

If you haven’t heard (because you’re not following the @themancave06 on twitter) Terrelle Pryor has finally heard from the NFL.  He will be eligible for the supplemental draft on Monday, and can participate in preseason games for whoever chooses him).  However, he can’t practice and will be suspended the first 5 games of the regular season.  Don’t cry for Pryor; those 5 games matches the 5 games he would have missed with the punishment Ohio State gave him for his tattoo parlor troubles.

I really was upset with the NFL for jerking Pryor around with this supplemental draft.  The league postponed the draft a couple of times because it was trying to reach a decision on Pryor.  There is a gray area here; according to the rules Pryor technically isn’t eligible for the supplemental draft because he wasn’t kicked out of school; he was just suspended so he can still play his senior year.  So literal criminals have been able to hop, skip, and jump into the league, but Pryor was hanging by a string to get eligible for the supplemental draft.  Hang on to that point for me.

Now I personally don’t care either way if Pryor should have been in the draft.  On one hand the NFL has rules for the draft and Pryor seemed to have been trying to skirt around those rules.  On the other hand, Pryor has the right to earn a living and it all signs pointed to him not being able to improve his craft this year in college.  My biggest beef is the hypocrisy with the NFL and NCAA.

Let’s start with the NFL.  You can easily see that the league was just trying to protect their free minor-league system, the NCAA.  They gave him the exact same suspension that the NCAA did.  That’s right, the NFL is punishing Pryor for something he did in college.  Other guys do wrong; they are welcome in the league with open arms.  Pete Carroll is coaching in the league after his issues in college.  You can say the NFL is doing Pryor a favor because they are bending their rules for him.  Well if the NFL feels so strongly about it, keep him out.  The NFL doesn’t need Pryor.  There really isn’t a good reason to keep him out, but if the NFL feels it needs to protect their moral high ground then more power to them.

Now we get to the NCAA. The old saying goes, “the higher you climb the tree, the more your ass will show.”  Well the NCAA’s ass is all exposed and it’s farting something foul out of it.  The NCAA knew about Pryor’s tattoo parlor problems before the Sugar Bowl last year and didn’t suspend him.  It allowed The Ohio State University to get away with suspending him 5 games (meaningless ones at that) for his senior season.  If you really want to get down to it, it’s all about money and talent.  Pryor, in the Sugar Bowl, was about money.  This upcoming college football season, umm not so much.  He’s not that great of a QB.  Scoopbald, an OSU fan, told me that the Buckeyes would not miss Pryor and could even replace him during those 5 games.

You see it’s all about money and talent in terms of crime and punishment.  Cam Newton had suspicions around him all year, but he wasn’t under the gun by the NCAA because he balled out.  Randy Moss, Lawrence Phillips, and Maurice Clarett waltzed in the league with character issues because they could play.  Look at what happened in Miami for 8 years and they weren’t even that good of a team!  On the other hand, people thought Pryor should have gone to the CFL!  So it was easy to jerk him around.  Trust me, if Pryor could throw a perfect deep ball there would be no issue in putting him in the draft.  Because Pryor is not that good, it’s easy to make him the sacrificial lamb and the unsympathetic figure in this whole mess.

In the end, the NFL and NCAA look bad on this one.  This further exposes that the NFL has a handshake deal with the NCAA to keep the farm system going.  The NCAA continues to try to prop up an obscenely corrupt system under the guise of amateurism.  And everyone continues to make millions.  Walter Byers the first executive director of the NCAA said this of the landscape of college football said this statement 14 years ago.   “The coaches own the athletes’ feet, the colleges own the athletes’ bodies, and the supervisors retain the large rewards.”  Sounds eerily familiar right?  Clearly not much has changed.  Now more than ever, the lords of college football and the NFL are in cahoots with each other.  And athletes like Pryor are the ones that are hurt by it.

Who Needs the NBA when We have Youtube Mixtapes

Posted: August 18, 2011 by RenzReport in NBA

Who needs the NBA when I can look at a 6 minute clip of Kobe Bryant put up 45 points and the game winning shot against OKC Thunder G/F James Harden, or watch Kevin Durant put up 66 points at Rucker Park, or Brandon Jennings fooling around with some trickery at Rucker Park or watching Kevin Durant and Michael Beasley go toe-to-toe at Dyckman Park (NYC)?

Before many of the top players take their talents overseas to play during the lockout, many have taken their skill to the streets.  From the infamous BF Collesium home to the Goodman League (DC), to Rucker Park (NYC) and the Drew League (LA), players have been able to showcase their love for the game and earn some street creditability while doing so. It’s also worth mentioning that many of these players are passionate about playing in these summer leagues, look at Nick Young for example, who has also electrified the Drew League by putting up 6o points in a game, shows his displeasure for being snubbed as the league MVP.

But what I love the most is, for a split second the players become part of the community.  Even more than those staged “NBA Cares” commercials that air during the game.  To speak to this, a few years back I had the opportunity to see Stephan Marbary come out to the Barry Farms in Anacostia and give out free pairs of his trademark shoe, the “Starbury” to the local kids.  I’m sure the kids were grateful to have a new pair of shoes to cut the grass in because those things were hidioius.

I also know my fellow comrade Yannick would be tickled to hear that Marbury stole the show from Andray Blatche who played in that game as well, but looked like an “average Joe” out on the court instead of being the future of our Washington Bullets franchise.

It is also worth mentioning that this isn’t new for NBA players.  For years, players have played in summer streetball games, but due to the lack of buzz typically created by the NBA offseason, the sports giants like ESPN can only focus on what these players are doing on the pavement and player Twitter accounts.  Yet at the same time, our inner city fans want to see more of the players outside of their home elements of being packed in sold out arenas.  They want to see these players play in their backyards, and this weekend (8/20) fans will have the opportunity to see star athlete’s showcase their skill on the smaller stage, which in return could mean something a lot more to those fans that can’t afford the $50 admission for seats in the nose bleed section of the arena.

This Saturday, the Drew League (LA) will play exhibition game against the Goodman League (DC).  Many of the top young players are EXPECTED to play, but we all know how these kids are with their commitments these days.  But it is expected to entertain, especially with the news on Tuesday on the potential of Kobe Bryant playing in the game – but I wouldn’t hold my breath on that move by the Black Mamba (SN: Who gave him that name? Himself?).

So folks, that’s about all I have on this topic.  So just remember when you get an urge to watch NBA players play, do what I do…

  1. Tune into Youtube and watching some highlights of your favorite players
  2. Turn to NBATV where they show nothing but OLD games which include not a single player on a current NBA roster
  3. Or plan to wake up early in the AM come October to see these players play in remote countries across the globe!

OH Noooooooooo…I almost forgot to post the video of LeBron James performance in an exhibition game in China.  As one of my Twitter followers said when I posted this video, “It must have been the 4th Quarter”.