Football Friday: Twelve Teams in Playoffs, the NFL Gave to Me

Posted: December 16, 2011 by dontbeskerritt in NFL

For the look at the AFC Playoff Picture, see this post:

I’ll just get right to it, here is what the NFC playoff picture looks like as of Friday, December 16, and what I think the playoffs will look like 3 weeks out (just call me Negrodamous):

Green Bay Packers 13-0 (at KC, vs CHI, vs DET): What has been said about this team that hasn’t been said about the flowing streams, nectar from the gods, the other side of the pillow, and Paula Patton’s bath water.  Simply perfect.

San Francisco 49ers 10-3 (vs PIT, at SEA, at STL): Great defense, can’t score in the red zone.  They are like a very good Washington Redskins.  Won’t go far in the playoffs, though.

New Orleans Saints 10-3 (at MIN, vs ATL, vs CAR): Probably the biggest threat to the Packers right now, expect they are half as good on grass as they are in the dome.  Unless Green Bay makes changes to their stadium…

New York Giants 7-6 (vs WSH, at NYJ, vs DAL): You can’t spell eli without E-L-I.  Excuse we while I throw up after typing that.  They don’t have to leave New Jersey for the rest of the year so they can celebrate the NFC East and New Year’s in New York.  Unless of course, Eli proves he’s not so elite (which he will).

Atlanta Falcons 9-5 (at NO, vs TB): The dark horse of the NFC playoffs.  Except for the fact that Matt Ryan has yet to win one big game.

Detroit Lions 8-5 (at OAK, vs SD, at GB): Remember when everyone liked the Lions?  Now, they are the villans of the league.  Oh yeah, they might not be that good either.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Chicago Bears 7-6 (vs SEA, at GB, at MIN): Their players are too reenacting various scenes from the Little Giants and from the Wire to make the playoffs.  Too bad, I thought they could beat the Packers at one point.

Dallas Cowboys 7-6 (at TB, vs PHI, at NYG): Their coaches are too busy trying to get fired by his boss and looking like he’s about to deliver triplets on the sideline for them to make the playoffs.  That’s what I get for saying they were the 2nd best team in the NFC.

Seattle Seahawks 6-7 (at CHI, vs SF, at ARI): Beast Mode!  Marshawn Lynch is telling everyone to “Hold their d***” as the Hawks make a late push for the playoffs.

Arizona Cardinals 6-7 (vs CLE, at CIN, vs SEA): Can my man John Skelton get some Tebow love?  All he does is win!  And he actually plays well for 4 quarters instead of just the 4th quarter.

Philadelphia Eagles 5-8 (vs NYJ, at DAL, vs WSH): Can some just drown or electrocute, or shoot these guys playoff chances?  Was that too much?

Since it’s the Christmas season I have a nice little verse to celebrate the season and to predict the 12 playoff teams that I think will make the playoffs.  Just one verse, I don’t want to show off my impressive singing skills:

For the 12 Teams in Playoffs, the NFL gave to me…Cardinals party crashing…Jets must be joking….Falcons shot down flying…Texans keep get hurting…Broncos won’t be Tebowing…Patriots won’t be stopping…49ers just can’t be scoring…Cowboys still have 5 rings!!!…Saints have hodophobia…Steelers still play dirty…Ravens still have Flacco..AND THE PACKERS HOLD UP VINCE LOMBARDI!!!

Thank you, holiday CDs will be on datpiff coming no time soon. Games for the weekend, I know you guys are hyped for the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl.

Saturday, December 17

12-3pm: New Mexico Bowl – Temple vs Wyoming (2pm ESPN), Ohio St vs South Carolina (CBB ESPN), Alabama A&M vs Michigan (CBB ESPN)

3:30-7pm: Idaho Potato Bowl – Ohio vs Utah State (5:30 ESPN), Temple vs Texas (CBB, 2:30 ESPN2), Memphis vs Louisville (CBB, 4pm CBS)

8pm: New Orleans Bowl – San Diego St vs LA-Lafayette (9pm ESPN), Kansas St vs Alabama (10pm ESPNU)

Sunday, December 18

1-4pm: Washington vs New York Giants, Seattle vs Chicago, Green Bay vs Kansas City

4-7pm: New England vs Denver, New York Jets vs Philadelphia, Detroit vs Oakland

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