“She Wasnt With Me Shooting In the gym!”

Posted: January 23, 2012 by arayegee in Current Events, NBA

The title for this post came from an Aubrey Graham line. This, combined with the fact that this blog has nothing to do with the actual  game of basketball, slightly blows me on several fundamental levels.

Last Friday, instead of pre-game excitement over the NFL conference championships, I logged in to Twitter and found myself reading a slew of tweets that could’ve started the biggest gender war since Susan B. Anthony n ’em.  What caused this uproar? Kobe and Vanessa Bryant’s impending divorce, his alleged $75 million shell-out to Vanessa, not including alimony and child support . I politely and diplomatically (I cant emphasize those words enough) asked what both sides thought about the situation, and several women responded (vented, however you want to see it) as such:

“it’s a lot of things that happen in life that just aren’t fair. like how men who sleep w mad women are so cool but when a woman enjoys sex w more than a couple guys she’s a hoe….and when a rich athlete cheats & has no prenup she gets half—- lol. there’s lots of things that aren’t fair, so lay off of Vanessa!”

“men fail to realize that when you mess w our most prized possession (or hearts) we (some) will go after yours (your money)”

“Why why y’all so passionate anyways? half y’all don’t got more than the women u lay up w so trust me, you prolly won’t have #kobeproblems

“breach that contract there are penalties. like breaking any contract. get over it. he shouldve had a prenup”

“vows r a covenant relationship between u, ur mate n God. The moment u break that covenant u should pray material possessions r all that go. Sin. Painful child birth. Multiple langs. Fire. A flood. All consequences that came bc of a broken covenant.

” I don’t feel sympathetic for Kobe at all. Maybe I don’t agree with giving 75mil and 3 mansions, but Vanessa Bryant certainly deserved a lump sum…People (mainly dudes) are sayin that Drake line “she wasn’t with him in the gym” True. She also wasn’t with him in the bed with all those women that got him into the place. What’s killing me the most are the men who are callin Vanessa a hoe & gold digger. She is his wife. Mother of his 2 kids & even stood by him when he was accused of being a rapist.”

“Im not a fan of giving up 50% of your assets that wasn’t acquired together due to divorce, but I also don’t support letting someone walk away scotch-free for consciously & selfishly breaking up a marriage. Pay up! And unfortunately for Kobe, in the state of Cali…that can be up to 50% of your assets. Maybe he’ll make better decisions next time.”

“a) when you are valuable you protect your worth. he’s the fool for not having a prenup.
b) “you wasn’t with me shooting in the gym” devalues a wife’s role.
c) break my heart, i break your pockets –PERIOD.
d) WHY is Vanessa getting 1/2 so surprising. It’s what happens when you get divorced. even if her 1/2 is MILLIONS.
pea brained niggas are tripping. and are probably single. or dogs, themselves.”

It was all good a week ago.

This goes on for a while, but you kind of get the gist of it. Womenfolk have no remorse when it comes to Kobe’s adulterous ways. In the words of a 90’s California gangbanger, COME UP OUT THEM POCKETS, CUH!
The men, on the other hand had a different perspective.
“kobe got some secrets he willing to pay for…”
“She only ‘reconciled’ after the rape for a bigger payout down the road’
“If she knew about all these women, why didnt she leave earlier. #paperchasinhoe”
anytime a woman get a nice lump sum of money like that with no argument or prenump….its bonifide hush money. #iwonderwhy
“”B*itch, you wasnt with me shooting in the gym!” x about 1000, seriously.
As if she wasnt out here doing her thing on the side too. Smh”
Im not writing this blog to come to some resolution for each side, nor will I try to the role of relationship guru.  We all know what “The Three C’s” are, and if you dont, then read about it.
What I do notice is that women are concerned about the actions of the men, and men are concerned about the motive behind the reaction from the woman.  Personally, I think Kobe should have listened to his parents when they said to not marry the girl in the first place, that he was too young and immature. In Vanessa’s case, nobody really knows her motives, but something is quite fishy when you wait this long after so many alleged women. (109 women is okay, but 110? Oh, thats my breaking point, Kobe. This marriage is over.) Its weird that neither side made much mention about the kids. But I guess money talks the loudest in this situation, right?
The reason I really wrote this blog is to show how assumptions truly make asses out of us all. We dont know that Kobe slept with over 100 women, we just read about through unverified stories. We dont know how much hes paying Vanessa, we just saw a number and ran with it. Same thing happens in the Tiger Woods/Elin fiasco. We dont really know if Vanessa made a home for Kobe, loved him, nurtured, supported him and their children. She might have been trifling. For all we know, the entire marriage could have been as Hollywood as Kim Kardashian’s, just longer. The fact is that we really dont know, but judging from these emotionally charged quotes, we really do care.
Caring passionately about something that you know little about is how terrible things happen.
ManCave rule #913: Do not talk what you do not know. Violation of these rules will result in immediate BTTK status or worse.
Lastly, before I finish off, this was the one response I got on Twitter that resonated with me.
Alimony doesn’t heal a broken heart.
  1. LBC says:

    The real victim here was the NFC and AFC Championship games.

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