Transitioning into a Cave-Woman!: Ladies Guide to Acceptance in the Mancave

Ladies have no fear football season is here!!!! I promise it’s not the end of the world. This is what men live for. They sweat, breathe and bleed sports, which is precisely why we should embrace its entirety.

We automatically think “no cuddling, no pillow talk and no more Eskimo kisses.” You’re looking at this all wrong. Relax! Hmm, how can I better explain this? How would you feel if your boo threw a man tantrum every time you reached for the remote to tune into Basketball Wives, Single Ladies and Lifetime movies? Yep…I’ll wait. At least men pretend to listen to us when we’re telling storylines from our favorite shows. Do you honestly think they give a hoot?! They attempt to be interested merely because it makes us SMILE. How many times has he watched the chick flick “The Notebook” for you? Shouldn’t we do the same? Altruism is the key!

So here it is…we have Plan A and Plan B. Depending on what works best for you!

Plan A

You can start by saying “Hunnie, what time does the game come on today? I would like to join you.” Now, this is not an invitation to sneak in a cuddle or any type of affection. Trying to spoon with your man during a game will result in a smush to the face, your feelings hurt and/or you being escorted out like DJ Jazzy Jeff was several times by Uncle Phil. Try not to ask too many questions. It’s wonderful that you’re intrigued but hold off until the commercials come on. And please reframe from commenting on the player’s butts!  Use this time to watch and understand the concept of the game. It may not be ideal bonding time but this is what compromising is about. Also replenish snacks when necessary (no really…I’m serious). Hook this man up with some cheese curls, a sandwich and a chilled corona! Remind him of the reason you hold the title of being “the wife”.

Now if it absolutely kills you to sit through an entire game, there’s always Plan B.

Plan B

Plan B entails of supplying the mancave with the “goods”. Before leaving the house, acknowledge your cave man. Stock the mancave fridge with water, beer and juice (specifically to compliment alcohol beverages). Prepare a few dishes. You can never go wrong with appetizers (i.e. buffalo wings, chicken tenders, potato skins, mozzarella sticks, spinach dip and etcetera). Snacks…anything involving dipping is perfect (cheese, salsa, French onion dip…you know the basics). Try to have a variety especially if he’s inviting local cave men to join in on the festivities. So let’s do a quick recapitulation; Food, alcohol, non-alcoholic beverages, and snacks.

Now the only thing with Operation Plan B is…you’re only allowed in the cave to replenish snacks. Other than that you serve no purpose…no offense. Let the guys have their time to coon accordingly.

Nonetheless you can’t lose with either plan you choose because you’re attempting to gain an understanding. Isn’t this something we ask from our mates? “Hunnie, I just want to know that you care.” Honestly men don’t really care about you understanding the concept of the game. If you do that’s excellent but don’t hurt yourself. The effort and compromise will suffice. Trust me, I’m still learning myself. Two years ago I couldn’t tell you what a Blitz was. But that doesn’t stop me from watching a game.

Significance of the Mancave

Now let’s discuss the significance of the mancave! Do you remember the Little Rascals? The best way to explain it is by dissecting the “He-man Woman Hater Club” pledge which states:

I (insert name), member in good standing of the He-man

Woman Hater Club do solemnly swear to be a He-man and

hate women and not play with them or talk to them unless I

have to. And especially never fall in love. And if I do, may I

die slowly and painfully and suffer for hours or until I

scream bloody murder…

Of course boys develop into men and realize we don’t have cooties. The only thing that somewhat applies within the pledge is the “No girls allowed” policy.

The mancave is the key to a man’s sanity. Can you imagine not having enough closet space for your shoes alone? Just the thought of never being able to have your dream closet will drive you nuts!

Well it’s the same thing with the mancave. The mancave is a representation of manhood. Each individual mancave defines the owner. That’s precisely why every single aspect of the mancave should be flawless.  Furniture, lighting, wall painting, entertainment equipment, carpeting and etc. are always carefully selected. Most caves have themes (typically inspired by the cave man’s favorite team). When all is said and done this cave should reek of Swag and Testosterone especially before local cave men are invited for events.

So ladies grab your jerseys and start cheering!

Accept, embrace and respect the swag…

yours truly,

Thumbalina